El texto lo escribí a partir de obras que hablan de lo queer o temas paralelos que me sirvieron para construir mi discurso
bibliografías y autores seleccionados
Gary Hill, Around and About
Paul Preciado, Testo Yonqui
Diana J. Torres, Coño Potens
Manuel de Landa, An Interview
Ulrike Müller, Bulletin
Sharon Hayes, Revolutionary Love: I Am Your Worst Fear, I Am Your Best Enemy
Derek Jarman, At Your Own Risk
Jack Smith, Statements, Ravings and Epigrams
Roland Barthes. Preface to Renaud Camus, Tricks
Lorena Peña Brito, Whirlpool
Harmony Hammond, Class Notes
K8 Hardy, Amifesto
Lisa Le Feuvre, Introduction, Failure
Correos Electrónicos, Lin
siento por primera vez la sensación de hacerme un autorretrato para ti. dibujar una imagen de mi mismo como si fuera tú. drag you. travestirme en ti. hacerte volver a la vida a través de esta imagen. we do not operate within the comfort zone. the lines are fuzzy. i didn’t have time to check my reflection in a mirror, and i certainly don’t remember my lines. if i ever had any. vete, al límite de sólo aquello que del cuerpo puede ser reconocido, ve hasta el goce de la desfiguración de tu lengua. el cuerpo no es otra cosa que la voluntad vuelta visible.
“yes, i am...” ultimately, the attribute is of no importance; what society will not tolerate is that i should be...nothing, or to be more exact, that the something that i am should be openly expressed as provisional, revocable, insignificant, inessential, in a word: irrelevant. Just say “i am” and you will be socially saved. me escondo, me vigilo, me censuro, me contengo. there is a huge self censorship because we’re terrified of betraying ourselves, we don’t want people to know. we must aknowledge our differences in order to learn about, support and work with each other. aceptar que el cambio que tiene lugar en mi es la mutación de una época. one can never observe all the possibilities and still go on to the next, sometimes one just exits and enters again, i think i can agree with myself that it is not a matter of choice; that everything is on purpose: ‘a bouquet of mistakes’
i want to know what we can do for each other now. i want to hear words that cut to the bone. when things get nasty, a sense of urgency prevails, and everyday the world outside continues as if nothing had happened. it’s not even that there’s a lot going on, we are just busy. i mean it’s not complicated: you can go on, i can go on; we can assume there’s something happening, or not something happening. i don’t know, perhaps it is unfair to go on, maybe we should take our minds off it and think about something else. maybe it is not worth thinking about at all, but that leads to other things just as problematic. maybe it should be more complicated, we are looking at it too simply. passivity where does it take you? don’t hate when you can jump in any moment. it’s heavy, it’s intense. don’t take it easy, happily we pass the ball(s), feelings are facts, thinking is that.
a hundred years from now and you haven’t seen my face. habítame, vive en mí, ven, ven, please don’t leave me, vuelve a la vida, hold on to my sex. low, down, dirty. stay with me, can you love me anyway? and if so, where can we go? i want to be taken and i want you to take me home, but i doubt there is an easy way for either of us. i came unprepared, i’m not ready to be complex. i don’t think that’s the answer though. i don’t think it’s an answer we are looking for. it’s shocking to laugh, it’s shocking not to take any shit, it’s insane to say no. everything is not okay, no podría decir que no lo sabía. you fantasize a way they are going to be, you try to do everything in your power, and then they are total flops. It’s really interesting to examine how you could be so wrong. sometimes I get involved, feel alive and in the middle of it.
at other times I drop out. then it goes on without me. no es el helio lo que procura el vuelo al globo, es el nudo. ever tried, ever failed, no matter, try again, fail again, fail better. they say: time heals all wounds, but while our bruises are healing we’re also dying, which is another way of saying living, the half way of putting it. what doesn’t exist is important. to be or not to be normal. thanks for explaining me. would you hold it against me if i couldn’t stand for this? we cannot imagine our own death. no matter how often we try, we remain spectators of a scene, we die fast and we don’t hide. el placer nace donde la promesa de la muerte nunca concluye. to strive to fail is to go against the socially normalized drive towards never increasing success. the embrace of failure can become an act of bravery, of daring to go beyond normal practices and enter a realm of not-knowing, after all, we’re all queer. i demand that we stop making promises about the future, which we have no right to make and which prevent us from, or make us feel guilty about, growing and changing. we are just at the beginning, guarda este prospecto, es posible que necesite volver a leerlo.
the limits exclude, we know. for me to use the word ‘queer’ is a liberation. we fight our insignificance. feminist. básicamente nacimos para limpiar la mierda de otros, no para ir dejando charcos por las camas. that’s a fight, this is daily agonistic with a refusal to hide. we are not bored.
no hacer ruido al pasar, no hacer ruido al comer, no hacer ruido.
do not be controlled by fears of hurting feelings with your beliefs. aesthetics can be killed over and over and over, that’s it. don’t give a shit about being an artist, give a shit about making someone mad maybe just making. i know this isn’t free of bullshit, i mean, i’m coming from somewhere of a self conscious place. todo lo que debes buscar es la variación. cualquiera de esas líneas de vida podría haber avanzado en otra dirección, pero han venido todas directamente hacia nosotros y se han cruzado exactamente aquí. often it is worth considering that the deepest failures are in fact not failures at all.